I think there is no human-being who cannot relate to this poem. I personally did not find any problem with your repetition. My only problem was that your last 4 lines verse was weaker than the rest of the poem, structure wise.
The poem speaks of your state and my state and other people's state day and night..Sometimes we feel insecure about ourselves or about anything else related to us. We all have these moments.
Other than that I just believe you do need to edit your "to" into "too", regarding :
Love the piece, the hopes it bestowed at last. Keep the pen alive my friend.
3 years ago
by Wicked Ways
. .... some days I feel like this too
3 years ago
I really really like the concept of this poem but the repetition was kinda distracting after a few lines... though this could be my own personal distraction/disliking. I think you did a nice job of making each line something so many people can understand at some point in their life if not at all times (though it is sad that the world has come to that). My favorite stanza by far is the ending, you not only wrapped everything up and show a change of heart but you sort of give all those people who relate a reminder of the hope thats out there too.