The dam

Sometimes in the darkness
the ghosts of the past come to call,
they knock on the door so loudly
and much as I tell myself not to answer...
I can't help but show them in.

As the tears finally fall freely
I feel so silly to be such a wreck,
I'd been making such great progress,
moving forward so bravely
and I'd never looked back once.

But tonight...you face flashes across my mind,
all the many mistakes I've made,
the times I've stumbled in the dark
and the webs of lies I've spun
in my desperation to breathe.

This isn't how I wanted things to go
but I guess life plays out it's tune
and we can only move to the rhythym,
I'm sorry for the pain I've left
even though no one else is sorry.

Closing my eyes I try to catch my breath,
who I once was isn't who I am now,
it's never too late to turn around
but its to late to ease the pain
and to stitch up my brokenness.

Life has moved on quickly,
the world's revolved one more time
and it's the season of letting go
but this pain is crippling,
takes me right down to my knees.

I get flashes of your breaking voice
saying "how can you do this?",
I feel the hands on my skin again
leaving bruises that no one else can see,
the brokenness inside me pouring out.

WHen the dam you've built up
to hold all the pain back,
the horrors you just can not face,
cracks in front of your eyes...
you'll have to sink or swim in the storm.