The hardest part of losing you

by Poetess   Nov 26, 2015

- just thoughts.

It wasn't watching you deteriorate
or fighting for the last, sacred breath.

Instead, it was trying to leave your bed exactly the way you left it..
And not washing your blanket because your perfume and coconut hair oil were still safe between the fabric.

It was trying to smile back at "it'll be okay" and "she's in a better place", because no one could understand my selfishness.

I needed you. I wanted you to stay.

It was acceptance slipping through my fingertips so that I couldn't get a grip on reality.

It was the 'could haves' and 'should haves' that kept me awake too many nights.

It's losing you on days when memories find their way into my dreams.

It's losing you again on days like today.



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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Dreams will never come true when they involve someone who's passed on. A sad truth that you bring to light in this touching work of yours. I have been fortunate that I haven't had to deal with much death (knock on wood) in my life, but I know that it's coming in the future and it is something that I think of every day with the utmost trepidation. First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. Second of all, if I had the power, I'd make it so this poem needn't have ever existed. Unfortunately, I do not.

    You really do put emphasis on the appreciation of life that comes from death throughout this piece, though. It's a harsh reality, and I think you single-handedly help anyone who reads this poem prepare for that inevitability.

    Thank you for this write, and much love!

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    It didn't get easier we just sort of learn to accept it..

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    Losing someone is always hard..

    Friend or relative.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    "just thoughts"

    Sometimes this sort of write is the most sincere, honest and moving; just getting down what is real and what you are feeling. Not trying to "overproduce" reality, if you understand what I mean.
    That's exactly what this is: real, sincere and extremely moving; well done and all the very best,

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    ..I remember my Gran dying many years ago. I recall how that felt. Grandparents often hold a special place in our hearts and when they pass on their mark remains, just like the smell of coconut oil will always conjure her memory for you.

    A very good piece of writing.

    Take care,