Under Venus's Light

by Mihir Deshmukh   Apr 3, 2017

On the background of my darkness,
he sprinkled some drops of white,
doing away with my hollow void,
he created a starry night.

Under the light of the stars,
basking in the moon's grey,
as I roamed around this lonely road,
he shined me with a bright ray.

And as I approached the light's source,
I saw a maiden with golden eyes,
and with the warmth of her affectionate touch,
she covered me with her fireflies.

Enchanted by her beauty so pure,
I leaned in to kiss her lips,
and as I felt her breath on mine,
I felt the world starting to slip.

And I started to disappear,
his brightness I could no more fight,
I left her with a silent shriek,
before I disappeared in to the light.

Now, every morning, just before the break of dawn,
I look for the fireflies and eyes so bright,
where he had shattered away my only dream,
and extinguished me under Venus's light.

But how can I hate him so much,
when he and I aren't two but one,
I; the darkness of the night,
and he; the brightness of the sun.

There are a couple of interpretations to this work from my side as I write them, but I would love love love to know what you think and see your interpretation of it.


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by CJ Maleney

    I'm terrible at critiquing things I simply see things that make me go wow, sometimes sad and sometimes make me of see a new beauty in things.

    However! This seems like it's a torn emotion to me. It's almost bordering on forbidden fruit territory and what the heart desires yet refuses, or denies.

    I could be so so wrong and probably am but yet it has that undertone.

    Either way it's still bloody lovely.


    • 1 year ago

      by Mihir Deshmukh

      God Craig you couldn't have said it better, while writing it I had the internal conflict I go through everytime in my mind. It's about the times when I wish to do something I haven't done or probably shouldn't do and also the opportunities I lose out on due to it!

  • 1 year ago

    by Ren

    This is absolutely beautiful! Your rhyming is spot on and the imagery is truly wonderful to read! Fantastic job!

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