i wish i didn't know you

she crawled like a myriad of bugs
across my skin, biting with her beaks
constraining me motionless
her lessons, best taught
but i can only learn them
when i am free

i was found
circling the floors of an attic
with an open window,
as her scent lingered inside.

she intoxicates and purges my mind
in cathartic releases,
drifting
among an eerie stillness.

waiting in the solitude of my
own white void,
she and her darkness
seem to form crystalline thoughts
causing me to dive outside
my own window
hoping for a safe fall.

my outstretched limbs etch the stars
like a tangled parachute,
expanding as wind
dips inside me.

erupting me into fireworks.
sizzling technicolor embers
full of the desire to escape
from her lingering grasp around my throat,
choking the everlasting life out of me.

but...
she was wired
cut and trimmed
to keep my battery full.
her code
executes in numbers of six.

where she was the ignition,
that kept embers burning bright
as the shine in her eyes
is what tricked me
into her contrasting darkness.