Slowly Choking...

by Drew Gold   Aug 30, 2005


This is one of my many masks,
me staring through the broken glass,
this is the barrier between my past

you can blink or stare, but it still wont last
ill still be here, wearing a different mask
with no thought to compare, no time to contrast
ill pick what i wear, n put a cloak on my past

in a plastic reality, i have all that i need
I'm away from normality so my feelings recede
shifting into neutrality I'm a completely new breed
i mind the fatality but my heart wont concede

i must persevere so i can clean the cloudy smoke
I've got to make it clear just to take away my cloak
watch me swallow all my fears and lies that i have spoken,
follow my path as truth appears and watch me, slowly choking.

older as well.. this one was heavily focused on internal rhyming.. lemme know if u think its too much.. NE way.. its so hard trying to find a category... NE thoughts appreciated..

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Lenny

    That is some serious heavy rhyming.... Not sure that i like it as much as your other style. Though, for this style, its probably the best I've read... But I like the other...rawer works of yours...they give you a lot more freedom.

  • 18 years ago

    by Hard2Heal

    This is a VERY good poem. i think that the internal rhyming is well balanced and its a very well written poem. keep it up :-)
    ~Hard2Heal

  • 18 years ago

    by Feline Fatigue

    I love the words you use in this!breed, concede, persevere, masks, they make it more interesting.
    i like this, but i don't really get the subject, and the subject is like the most important element, so i'm gonna give you 3/5 on this.

  • 18 years ago

    by Amanda Bee

    I like this poem. I liked the way it flowed and I loved the last stanza. Good job:)

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