Shortcut To Hell

by BeautifulxMess   Apr 28, 2007


(Tonight she tells you a story that changed her life.)

Into the night, she cries out to God to save her heart.
Nobody listens to the insanity that she has fought.
They won't stop screaming, and she is falling apart.
Mom and Dad don't hear her as she yells out to stop.

Life isn't fair and only gets worse as the minutes pass.
Hope gave up on her several years ago one night.
She never thought that the nightmare would last.
They broke her dreams that disappeared out her sight.

(She withdraws the past that bruised her mind)

365 days in a cell behind metal bars that kept her away.
The thought she'd never be happy again lingered around.
She wished that she could go back and change that day.
But all she got is a beat to the gravel on the ground.

They told her she wasn't good enough to be here today.
She was a piece of trash that belongs in the fire of Hell.
As everyone laughed she packed up and ran far away.
Evil burned in her path she walked on and always fell.

She wanted payback for the fate they put in her place.
Teasing and taunted never ends when they are around.
The devil in her took over and burned anger in her face.
She griped the handle and stabbed her to the ground.

By the time the police came she was no where in sight.
She runaway from what she thought was her illusion.
They found her and brought her under the darkest light.
Right then and there she knew that it was her delusion.

(Back where she reminisce on what she has faced.)

How she hates herself for what she has degrade.
She lives in the shadow of a heartless little girl.
By the time she gets over it she'll be in a grave.
There is too much for her to deal with in this world.

She can't live on anymore with this burden that abides.
It doesn't matter that she's gone;Nobody will notice anyway.
Say one last prayer to the God she think is a lie.
Writes a letter that reads, "I wasn't enough to live one more day."

(Dark angels lead the way to Hells black gates)

*A story that just came to mind. Read the () in order. They put together a 4 line poem. It, puts the poem pretty much togther.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I liked it. The poem was strong and it had alot of emotion in it. Your words captured my attention and held it in. Your structure was good, 4 line stanza's, with one line pattern. I odnt know i oculdnt really find a rhyme scheme going on.. The title of the poem instantly captures attention and wants to read more. "Shortcut to hell" what shortcut? youve allready got loads of questions going on in the readers mind. Great how you did that. Try using a more variety of punctuatio nincluding enjambment and stuff. Other then that a good read, sorry it took so long for me to return your comment. xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Startle Me

    It doesn't seem like a story to me.
    Just seems like a lot of venting
    Which I respect.
    Meaning, not a lot of people
    Can express emotions on paper
    For example, I can't.
    I just tell anything I think
    Not feel.
    So all in all.
    But still.
    It seemed to go on and on.
    No offense.
    I'll give you a 4/5 :]

  • 16 years ago

    by Synh

    Well, regarding the (), if you were trying to rhyme like aabb, 'life' and 'mind' don't rhyme so it didn't really flow right. You have a lot of grammar mistakes in this poem as well. Also I don't understand what the girl did to end up in jail. Like, I know she hurt someone but who was it? Why that specific person if everyone was laughing at her? And throughout the poem, the flow fluctuated a bit. It sounded like you were trying way to hard to rhyme.

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I liked this poem alot, it was dark and showed great emotion throughout it. Very powerful story you have written here i found it to be portrayed really well, with a great meaning put behind it. The flow was quite nice to me and the ryhme scheme was great. Well done on a nicely written poem~mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Darien

    "Hope gave up on her several years ago one night."
    [This line seemed a little conflicted. "Years ago one night" really doesn't make that much sense.]

    "Dark angels lead the way to Hells black gates"
    [Hell's]

    This was a pretty powerful poem, and I liked the rhyme scheme. The flow was a bit shakey at times but for the most part it kept strong. The story was interesting.. keep it up!

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