Comments : What if you had the power?

  • 11 years ago

    by Cayce

    Omg! I really really liked the message in this one. Try to help others whenever you can. I love helping people, that's just my personality. I hate it when something is wrong or someone is sad. I think the flow and rhymes and stuff were good. I liked the repetition with "what if". I love poems that make people think and this was definitely one of them. Amazing poem! Keep up the good work!

    Cayce xx

  • 11 years ago

    by LoveBird99

    I really loved this poem! It describes the power of reaching out so well, and the last stanza was a strong closing!!

    Oh, and instead of lightness, maybe you could just say "light". Just an idea.

    Really good job!
    ~Elizabeth (Lovebird99)

  • 11 years ago

    by nering

    This poem is well deserving in most meaningful message i have read in a long time--very nice! I love the message I spread it throught my college and more people like u and I should be out there

  • 11 years ago

    by White Chocolate Dynamite

    Well it took some guts and emmotions to write this, very very well written. Im glad someone feels this way about things like this. keep it up!

  • 11 years ago

    by Lemma

    This is another really great poem with an awesome massage that made me smile =) My favourite stanza was...

    "What if you had the power
    to brighten someone's day?
    To be their lightness in the dark
    and guide them through the grey?"

    So sweet and happy and really positive. You're on my favourites list now, for whenever I need something to cheer me up. 5/5

    Em xXx

  • 11 years ago

    by Beautiful Forever

    This had a really good flow, and the ending was really good :P!!! The word choice was good, and the concept was great! I really enjoyed reading this one! 5/5 for sure

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni

    This was a very honest poem. Had an excellent rhythm to it and everything flowed wonderfully. I loved your use of language as well! 5/5 Keep up the awesome work!

  • 11 years ago

    by Connie

    This is an awesome message and perfectly written! Thank you for such a good message. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by xxxStarSxxx

    Wow, really powerful poem. Great flow and great point. I love it. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    WOW. This was a great poem about life. There IS so much in the world that we could hep with, but yes, people do make up excuses not to help. and it really is a shame.

    one suggestion:

    "To rid the world of sadness,
    even only for a while?"

    i think it would look and sound better as
    "To rid the world of sadness,
    if only for a while?"

    just my opinion.
    still a very heartfelt, deep poem. gets you thinking!
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by FallingAngel

    Great poem, it sends out the message that you should help others andnot make excuses. It was well written. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Darien

    Power. Hmm, I don't think it's such a positive thing. It brings corruption, no matter how good you think the person is. That's why I enjoy the movie "Lord of the Rings". It really defines the meaning of "power". Although people would use "power" for good, it has it's own way to turn it evil. It's what I think anyway, well for TOO much power. Just the right amount is good enough.

    Again, another good poem that makes one think.

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This is a great poem, and it makes a point that you should reach out to others, because you can make a difference. I love the flow of this poem, and the words.

  • 11 years ago

    by David Ensor

    And i thought the other one was good. these are amazing, great work!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Aweeeeee.
    I really, really liked this one! Better than the other one you wrote, even.
    It's one of the better ones on the site, I must say.

    I liked it because it flowed very well. The rhyming was perfect (no catch-ups) and the point beautiful.
    You have some talent.

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

  • 11 years ago

    by Kim

    Again I am stunned.
    You are a great writer!

    The ending is straight to the point and very clear.
    The message of this poem is important.
    Good job!
    Great choice of words and I love the flow.

  • 11 years ago

    by Lu

    What if you had the power
    to help everyone in need?
    To take the hands of those who've failed,
    and help them to succeed?
    ^^^
    Everyone has that power ... not to help everyone but do what they can, yet so many opt to turn a blind eye. So very sad

    What if you took this power
    and put it to good use?
    What if you made a difference
    instead of always an excuse...
    ^^^
    After reading all 4 stanzas I knew there was something deep and true coming in the ending stanza. And upon reading it I said to myself "excellent voice in the ending stanza"

    You have penned this write with the love and compassion that lays within your heart and it shines in the 2 ending lines hun.
    Bravo! ~claps~ excellent message you've woven into this write.
    Well done, excellent read
    Luanne