The Burning Lakeside

by Common Sense   Mar 9, 2008


Raw - this dust, where it flutters away
Sifting shadows, come out and play
Cinders glisten, collapse in the fog
Vermilion embers nibble acrid bog

The catails are weaving
Lake writhing black
A glossy skin of ashes
The boat lines are slack

Wind cloying sulphur
Stale powder; rusty smoke
Crisp, as rotting flesh provoke

Silence here, in the light of day
Sifting shadows, come out and play

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ~*LorienElf*~

    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
    PRETTY
    PRETTY
    NIBBLE ACRID BOG

    NOT SIGNING MY NAME

  • 16 years ago

    by MissAlyssaGraff

    "Wind cloying sulphur
    Stale powder; rusty smoke
    Crisp, as rotting flesh provoke"

    Wow! That stanza paints a picture in my mind, and gives me shivers down my spine; but in a good way! I usually don't enjoy a poem with big words because I find that the writer is trying too hard. But I think the way you used more elaborate words MAKES the poem.

    Very nice write! 5/5

    -Alyssa

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