Look at what i've done....

I fell so deeply and madly in love with him
thought we would never let ourselves be apart
i couldn't recall ever having felt this way before
and i was so happy to think this is just the start

before him, i had tried not to let anyone in
but he was different, or at least thats what my heart
felt so i let my guard down and i let him get close
he made me feel so important like a nice piece of art

but over time, maybe his emotions just faded
he claimed he felt stronger for me than before
that he just has a hard time expressing how he
truly feels but i am the only one he adores

the farther we got in, the less he tried
the phone calls faded to one a week,
if i was lucky i thought he just stopped
caring and things with him just got bleak

he finally decided to call me one day
he didn't expect it but i told him goodbye
he begged me not to saying he would change
with tears in my eyes i replied:

"you know i will love you forever
and you will always have a place in my heart
but i can't take this pain anymore
its just tearing me apart"

i knew i had deeply hurt him
and that it would take him so long
to recover, that i had left a never ending
pain in him that was unbelievably strong

so i let him go and tried someone else
i ignored each and every phone call he made
thinking foolishly that by doing this
the pain would eventually fade

four months came and went and the
relationship i was in didn't last
i realized i only loved one guy
and that i had shattered his heart of glass

i called him up thinking that i could mend
the past that i had so deeply shattered
while the phone rang i was praying that
maybe he he still loved me, that the past didn't matter

after four rings that took an eternity, he picked the phone up
surprised i had decided to finally call his cell
i told him how i felt and that i wanted him back
and i apologized for not being there to pick him when he fell

i was anticipating for him to say he
still loved me and would take me back
but the response i got was only half
of what i wanted, half was what it lacked

after a long, patronizing silence
he said that his heart still felt the same
that he still loved me and would till his
dying day, that time hadn't put out the flame

but he had found someone new and dear
someone that finally made him feel completed
like he had never felt before in his life, when she
was by his side, by no one could he be defeated

i sat there....not knowing what to say
how could i have thought he would just sit around and wait?
a million questions kept running through my mind
is this something i deserve? one of those twisted fates?

i put on a fake smile and whispered softly
"aw..im so happy for you i really am,
but i have to go i um have things to do"
i hung up the phone and put it down with a slam

i let someone so precious and special just walk away
i let him slip right through my careless fingers
i pushed him away and put him through a tormenting pain
and now, ironically, i am being put through this pain that seems to linger

so now i tell you, look at what i've done
he is happy as can be now and then it hit me,
he doesn't need me he has found somebody new
just look at who took the time to heal and be free

i just walked away from the love of my life and i am
thinking now that maybe my feelings i shouldn't conceal
i feel like there is a pain in my heart, a everlasting knife
this is what i get for being ashamed of how i feel...

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