this poem is going under my favorites for sure
I was having a horrible day and this poem
let me let the tears just roll down my cheeks
you have a talent for making these feelings come to life
Just... wow. *clicks to favorites*
In such few words, you could tell a real story of a teenager, brilliant.
As everyone else have said, the flow and vocab is great, I wish I was first to say that *grin*
5/5 ;_; It's hard to be a teenager, isn't it?
Wow. i like this poem. i can relate... i think all teens can. i like the ending because thats my favorite. you got a nice opening that makes the reader want to read more. i like this poem. very well written. 5/5
Wow. em-effing-mazing. I can relate to this piece so well. And you really captured the moment and the emotions. I dunno. I just really like this poem and you worded it just right. The flow was flawless. And this is going into my favorites! :] 5/5.
I was thinking about writing a poem just like this one. Sort of having to do with parents never giving their children freedom. Yeah, I'm sort of fixated on the topic of freedom if you noticed in my two new poems. I think this poem pretty much summed up what I would have written. You definitely did a better job than I could. Keep it up!
I loved reading every line of this, I loved how it rhymed and it is true, sometimes parents don't understand. They'll just say "You'll get over it", which doesn't help. You have a lot of talent and I can see that just from reading this poem. Good Job!
Everything was great. I don't have that problem but I know a lot of people do. I don't mind when they ask me questions. I do feel that they underestimate things though. At least mine do. I'm fine right now though. But I see what you mean. Stuff happens...it sucks. But your poem is wonderful. A sure thing to be a fiver. :D
Wow I just loved the truth you expressed here with your words. Every situation you described is one I could relate with all my heart. I love how you broke up your stanzas because everything just flowed flawlessly. It truly brought emotions out in me because parents always have to tbe the ones that wipe the tears not make you cry them. Sometimes even if they don't understand .. you have to make them. Well done *5/5*
The title caught my attention...the poem really made me think. From a parent's point of view...many of your problems DO seem trivial at times when compared to ours...work...finances...your futures...etc. But the world we live in today has changed dramatically from what it was when we were your age...and many parents just don't understand that! This is a poem many of them could learn a great deal from reading. I wish I could have read it years earlier...for I too was guilty of acting this way. Great job! Keep sharing your thoughts with everyone...you never know who may be learning from them :)
Ummm i think i can relate. the way you write it, a bit of story, a bit of thinking, a bit of talking to a reader, as well as good rhythm, makes the poem catching and, you know, impressive.
you write with simple words and it works with the meaning of the poem. like, you know, words can be simple but deep and meaningful and lives of teens also only seem to be so simple.
my fav lines are:
They think your life's as simple as deciding black or white,
Not knowing it's the grays between that keep you up at night.
these lines really blew me away. it is such an exact image, makes you think about so many colours gray can be. but life isn't only gray - mostly it's NOT gray i hope - but anyways the metaphor is good.
ok all in all i believe the issue you raise is important and many can relate, and what is good about the poem is that you don't cre "errrrrr they can't understand that's sooo unfair" but kinda explore the problem and try to explain why it's this way.