Our Story

by Bekka Smekka   Apr 4, 2008


As a before note I'd just like to say i don't really like this poem. i know that may sound weird when its your own work but whatever, it just didn't seem right. please suggest anything to make it better!!

This feeling that i get,
when i look in your eyes.
the guilt of my sin,
my big web of lies.

Even when you smile,
all i think is this.
My love for you was weak,
and ignorance is not bliss.

My soul begins to burn,
its my turn to confess.
Your look of pain and sorrow,
God, I've made such a mess.

Please listen when i tell you,
my love is now strong.
I've learnt my lesson truly,
i know what i did was wrong.

And if you could forgive me,
that i left you brokenhearted.
Maybe we could continue,
with our story that was already started.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Fire Catches

    I don't know why you don't like this
    I like it ALOT
    The way with your word and how you
    put them together..it was amazing

    I don't think anything needs to be changed
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by xX the left behind Xx

    Err..it's good really..i don't really know why you don't like it..hhe..
    but as for me..i thought there was something a bit off at the end..
    but over all, good job. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by MELI

    YES YES YES THIS IS A GREAT PPOEM I DONT KNOW WHY U DONT LIKE.. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ND DONT BE SO MODEST!! LOL YAH THIS TUCHD ME AND ITS TRUE ESPECIALLY FOR ME RIGHT NOW... WHO R U TAKIN ABOUT BY THE WAY?? .. SEND A MESSAGE KK WELL IF U KUD B SO KIND =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Hear You Me

    I dont really know how you could make it better, if you know what i mean. you make a poem and you either tear it to pieces or make a few tweaks. i dont think you could tear it to pieces without changing it totally, and its a good poem =D

  • 16 years ago

    by Jade

    I think its good!

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