Living with Love

Excellent work!!! i loved this poem it was really good.

Hey,
reading that made me feel like i was in a fairy tale story.. wow!

that was really good!

nami

Absolutely beautiful <3

This is beautiful,,
i had no idea you still wrote
x

A new born creation,
A touch of pixie dust,
Sweet lips are waiting,
For your tender touch,
^^
I really like this opening! Second line I would omit the "A" .... 2 in a row beginning each line.

A new born creation,
Touch of pixie dust,
Sweet lips are waiting,
For your tender touch,
^^^
And I find it flows much better.

The winds do whisper,
Through the summer breeze,
The name of a secret love,
Brought through the oceans seas,
^^^
I love the content of this stanza beautiful but I find the wording a little off. Perhaps .....

The winds do whisper,
Through the summer breeze,
Name of a secret love,
Sweeps across the seas,

Glistering sunshine,
Covers all the darkness,
Magic rises through the skies,
And plants an affectionate kiss,
^^^
This one is magical and breath taking .... awesome!

I am charmed by every word,
In this enchanting place,
As this spell is cast,
I feel my heart begin to race,
^^^
Charmed by every word,
In this enchanting place,
As this spell is cast,
Feeling my heart begin to race,
^^^
Omitting the "I" brings such a peaceful flow~

As I open my eyes,
I still feel free,
I found out passion can live with love,
Because you are here with me.
^^^
As I open my eyes,
Feeling so very free,
(Finding or realizing) passion can live with love,
Because you are here with me.
^^
Omitting another 2 "I's" .... Some poems need the I's to bring forth the emotion but in this piece hun you have set forth so much emotion that you don't need all the I's.

Sorry if it seems I am tearing your poem apart but it has such a beautiful feeling to it and the potential to touch the reader.
Beautiful dedication from the heart!
Luanne