Only time///// You help me (double)

by Dustin S   Apr 23, 2008


Only time will tell,
Th reason why I fell.
Only time will give,
The reason I live.
Time is and will be my friend,
All the way till the end.
The only thing with this rhyme,
Is that time can be a crime.
It can hurt and please,
Help, or make you fall to your knees.

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You help me when I need it,
You don't treat me like shit.
Sis, you are just amazing to me,
And my love I want you to see.
You help me through tough times,
You help me not lie in my rhymes.
You keep me alive day to day,
And thank you is what I have to say

*A double poem I have made. First, but probably last. Hope you like what you see!*

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by X Harlea X

    Good job.
    **harlea

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    Oh one more thing! I felt you used commas too much. Some places I felt could have been a complete sentence and you just used a comma. Other than that great job.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    First stanza, second line, you forgot the E in the.

    First stanza, seventh line, I think you made a mistake. The only this with this rhyme,
    Only this with this?

    Other than that, I really liked it. It was a sweet poem and your rhyming was consistent throughout the poem and the way you put the words together turned out lovely.

    Seeing how I saw very few mistakes and how this was a well put together poem I think I'll give it a four. It was good. :)

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