Too Many

TOO MANY
Too many times have I been hurt,
Too many times have I been deserted.

I've been through a lot,
I've felt lot's of pain
And too many times
Has it ended with rain.

A sudden rush of overwhelming emotions
Runs through my head and my heart.

I feel pain, I feel depression,
I feel love, I feel elation
But I also feel fright
For these times never seem to turn out right.

I wonder if God has something against me.
I pray and I pray, almost until I see the light of day,
But it never shines my way.

People say I'm no fun anymore,
They say I'm not happy.
Little do they know,
That happy, for me, is never real,
I almost always fake it.
For it protects me against the world
In which too many people hate me.

It shields me from others
Because too many times
Have I been hurt,
And too many times adds up,
So now I finally realize,
That maybe It's just not worth it.