I Don't Need Another Michael (Addiction to Pain)

I will grit my teeth and bear the pain;
I don't need another Michael.
He took my rambles and made them sane.
Don't need another pain cycle.

I've been pained before and I let it live
so it would devour my heart.
It threatened my soul, but it wouldn't give.
With the pain I couldn't depart.

Some are addicted to pain killers.
Well, I've been addicted to pain.
Yeah, those thoughts were the real stand stillers.
I wouldn't scream; I couldn't strain.

My soul was feeding on my sickness
like some sort of vampire.
It was destroying my skin's thickness.
It dangled my desire.

It burned right through,
but I couldn't stop stoking the fire.
Right then I knew
what was wrong I needed to transpire.

I will grit my teeth and bear the pain;
I don't need another Michael.
He took my rambles and made them sane.
Don't need another pain cycle.

Please don't ever be the next Michael, Storm.
You can't leave when there's a rekindled flame.
I don't need fire; just need to be warm.
Now that you're here this fire we must tame.

Slowly, but surely, addiction has spoken.
It wishes to take me back.
I don't want to go back to being broken.
Please, help me get back on track.

Don't let me crumble and fall apart.
Don't leave me alone in this room.
I've finished, but I'm still at the start
I won't let addiction consume.

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Okay, so here's what the poem is about. Back in the day I used to have issues with pain where as I took everything that hurt me and let it kill me. I let the thoughts rerun and I embraced the emotional pain. I didn't realize or I was denying myself of knowing I did this, but now I know. I've noticed the past addiction pop up a little lately right when I made this very close friend (coincidently) and this friend is so awesome I want to talk to him about it. Earlier today (May, 23 2008) he asked what I would do if he just stopped getting online to talk to me and I got really hurt. It made me think of a friend that disappeared and never came back: Michael. I have a poem dedicated to Michael if you wish to know more about the story, it's titled, Dear Michael. I even have a poem dedicated to Storm titled Dear Storm. The part about the flame isn't referring to love, it's referring to the painful emotions. We all need emotions, (hence the "I just need to be warm," part) but we don't need them to consume us. Anyways, Storm signed off and never told me why he asked and it really bothered me so I wrote this poem. Storm, I haven't really talked to anyone about my old addiction before and I was going to talk to you about it, I just didn't get to and now I want to. I don't need another Michael. :(