Pressure (Formerly Untitled II)

It was so short but I got the idea...and this is good to be able to transfer ur thoughts through few words..
Good job,plz keep it up..

Very well written... short and straight...

'Why waste them all
on candy (cocaine)?'

^^ good question..

I jus wish it was a little longer... i would have enjoyed even more...

beautiful write...
keep writing..

One of the fundamental rules of poetry (and writing in general): always title your work. Poems are like children. If you don't name them, then obviously the parent doesn't care about them.

"on candy, cocaine?"
Only part I didn't like about the poem (other than the itle, and that doesn't count). Like I said, everything here is generilized and abstract, yet those three words make clear what you're talking about. It destabilizes everything, and suddenly not so many can relate to the message this poem sends across.

The poem itself is very abstract and something anyone can relate to.

"Fold under the pressure.
Walk towards the light."
The "light", as you put it, is very often only an illusion. Isn't light itself only energy? The things we see aren't necessarily real. I like how you put it in a phrase so simple.