I cry

You say you hate me
and are done with me.

i am hurt,
i lock myself in my room and cry
i cry for hours.
i cry for
myself,
for everything i have lost,
i cry for
the friendship we used to had,
i cry for the for
the days on end, spent at each other's houses in the summer,
for the water fights,
and recordings on our cells,
i cry for the trees in the mountain,
that we will never again point out,
i cry for everyone with a spastic Colan,
that we will never again say,
i cry for
our snowboards,
that we will never again haul up to the mountain,
and call our friends on the chair lift,
i cry for
the pudding stains, spattered on the floor,
from that time we made chocolate cupcakes
for market place.
but most of all,
i cry for her,
for my best friend,
i cry for all her pain,
i cry for not being there
when she needed me the most,
i cry for her life,
that never seems to go alright,
i cry because it is my fault for all of this,
dating him was the biggest mistake i have ever made.
i try to tell her that, but she doesn't listen,
so i just cry,
i cry for me,
i cry for her,
and i cry for all the good times we once had,
all the inside jokes, and hand shakes,
i cry for things we will never again share,
i cry for our friendship.