Is It Hello Or Is It Goodbye?

Im so confused
Do I smile or do I cry
My mind is jumbled
Is it hello or is it goodbye

Eating me away
Is it pleasure or pain
Im losing it
Am I going crazy or am I sane

The tears run so fast
They flow down my face
Each full of pure hate
How do I get out of this place

I don't know what to do
Is it here or is it there
I must be dreaming
Do you or don't you care

The pain is eating me inside from out
Do I pretend im fine or just say im not okay
What's next
Do I cry about my future or my yesterday

Each night an endless war
Do I surender or do I fight
What will it prove
Shall I cut or just cry myself to sleep at night

I've never felt so lost
so do I smile or do I cry
...I just don't know anymore
is it hello or is it goodbye