Like a Bullet to the Heart

by Lesslovedthanloathed   Aug 4, 2008


This is how I felt when
You stopped looking my way
This is how I felt when
I told you I loved you
But you no longer felt the same way

Like a bullet to the heart,
Piercing coldness of the metal.
Reminiscing of the times when
You pretended to understand how I felt,
As you lead me down this dark path.

Where did all that love go?
Only hatred's left in my heart.
As I'm standing outside your window
Holding this gun, aiming at our past.
What's love when none of it was real.

Like a bullet to the heart,
In the pitch darkness of the night,
I'll pull the trigger honey
Just so you can feel what I felt.
Through your cold heart,
Just as it pierced through mine.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Mmm, it was good, i'll admit that, but to me it needed more anger and hatred, some words just felt to loved up and not as if you really wanted to make someone feel pain like you had. I liked it though very much

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    Watch out for cliche, the first verse was full of it.

    "Thrown away like trash"
    Surely you can come up with something better than that?

    And using words like "honey" are only effective with lots of sarcasm behind it. Perhaps making your poem a little more bitter (a wider vocabulary) would be helpful.

    Other than that, this was a good poem, it kept me reading through some of the weaker lines through to the end. And I like the ending, it's not cliche (like the first stanza) and refreshing, as well as dark.

    Good work, 4/5

    jess ~

  • 15 years ago

    by Fake Facade

    Far out!
    this poem is great :D

    i really liked it.
    not only was it a good poem, in a sense that it was written beautifully, but also becasue it was a great read.

    great work

  • 15 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    I like the way that this is a clash between metaphor and reality. Although it was on/off rhyme the flow was pretty good and words were strong and worked.

    Well done

    Alex xx

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