Too Little.. Too Late..

My apologies fall on deaf ears I'm afraid
As the damage was too great for even all time to fade

How am I to go on with this remorse and feeling of dread
Knowing the kind words and thoughts I feel now need not be said

All the good times eclipsed by the mistaken and misplaced rage
My sorrow now is destined to last forever, but forever I can't fathom at this stage

Take it day-by-day my few remaining friends and family say
But as each torturous minute passes the toll becomes greater to pay

Every second of pain though I know in my heart I have earned
For the last several years another life you have both yearned

So long that I've been on my own without a paddle or pot
Plastic bags and a suitcase hurriedly packed is all I got

The impassive time creeps forward regardless of my woes
Looming are far more unpleasant times I unintentionally chose

Going back not an option and forward a hard road to travel
The life that I knew is about to end with the rap of a perfunctory gavel

With my head held up high, stoic I'm told I now need to be
That I'm not as bad as the words that were written for everyone to see

Though "the truth" as ugly as it is has been told time and time again
I will not allow the urge of reprisal to hurt my loved ones even then

I only wish for their health and happiness for the rest of time
And that some day they might forgive me and see that love forged this rhyme