Her Heart Finally, Broke.

This is absolutely beautiful. =]
And I'm sorry about the short comment, I just haven't been here a lot lately, so I'm not very good at giving comments anymore.

Keep it up =)

xx

Ouch!!
this poem was full of pain..but it ended with a liiiiiiiiittle hope which was nice..
lovely poem.. i just admired that part

(Heart silently cracking within her chest,
making it impossible to cure the pain.
She tortured herself with sadness,
until that beautiful smile disappeared.)
keep it up!!

"Feelings built up so quickly without self control-
emotions captured such a beautiful soul.
Beat it up until it could no longer breathe,
nor feel anything; numbness took over. "
The second line needs something special to start it out. It needs to be as known as the first.
The third line in that stanza also distracts me, the it and it just don't fit for me. I think it needs a subject or a noun. 'it' is repeated to much so close.

"Heart silently cracking within her chest,
making it impossible to cure the pain.
She tortured herself with sadness,
until she could no longer smile."
The second line deviates from the gorgeous beauty of the first. It takes a bumpy detour. You also repeat she, be creative, add in adjectives and noun's that allow her subjective amounts of space to change and grow.

"(She made the situation much bigger
than it was intended to be at the beginning.)"
That doesn't fit at all. It throws everything off and makes it seem bad. It is as if you have to talk and the poem is too weak.

"Emotions got so strong, that her heart broke.
Into millions of pieces like glass being shattered.
Her heart had finally cracked open-
left to lay on the floor for everyone to see."
This is my favorite stanza. You cracked the case, and left amazing pain searing my heart. This painted a precise picture, open for interpretation. Just one little typo, lay shall be lie.

"Now she struggles to pick up all the pieces,
and glue them back together into a full heart.
One that will beat and be able to find him-
someone who will give her the same in return."
The opening line picks up the strand of wonder, but then the second line is just average. I don't think that it is phrased well. maybe try ' Gluing those shards back together into a whole. ' the last line drops off and makes me ponder how the words are so supernatural and then normal.

"It may take a while for her to mend,
but she will move on from this sadness.
She refuses to let the pain capture her heart-
and shatter everything all over again."
That one is absolute perfect. Nothing to say but I'm in awe.
Overall this was a touching good piece. I like it a lot. It does need a little work.

Lexie

I like it a lot,
Overall very good, the one thing that threw me off was at first it rhymed, then the rest of the stanza didnt.
usually if its going to rhyme it should have the same style throughout., but after i reread it i still like it a lot.

good job, keep up the great work.

First off id like to say this was a really good poem.. The emotions were greatly felt and i liked the words and how you used them... my fav stanza was your last one.. Thats somthing i need to give to one of my friends =D 5/5 Great poem..>!