Scars I Wont Forget

Essentially I've failed
Like you always told me I would
I've been searching for a purpose
But it has done me no good

Looking into those piercing eyes
Each time I'm forced to see
Just how much I mean to you
As you have never meant to me.

Still the last breath was not mine
No matter how much we both desired
I was left alone and in question
Of this apparent freedom I've acquired

Discarded first were all paraphernalia
That could have associated me with you
I closed my eyes and punished myself
The same way you used to

Suicidal tendencies are no longer plaguing
Just a hatred fading from my eyes
And a soul that can no longer endure
To bear the qualities in me you despise,

But the disappointment continued to pursue
In all the promises humanity has failed to keep
I no longer ask why this is done to me
Or question the times I weep

I walked slowly back to our old bed,
And picked up my bloody chains
The memories flashed as if you were here
But they were all that remains

Some would come and contemplate
The stupidity in which I excel
But few could understand completely
Why I chose to come back to my hell

The irony did strike me though,
For my whole life these I had fought to sever
In my familiar spot I drifted to the beginning
And prayed this time I would sleep forever.

-This might be hard to understand.