Enclosed Within Darkness.

by Courageous Dreamer   Aug 19, 2008


*Important Note:

`I have no clue where this came from.
I am not feeling these feelings AT ALL.
Never have, and hope I never do.
For some reason it just came to me.
I wanted to try something new (:

``````````````````````````````

I'm enclosed within these walls of sadness.
Written all over are words of depression,
that can easily make someone go insane.
There's no way of escaping the darkness-
nor the unbearable pain that I experience here.

Musty smells linger in the air as I choke-
on the dust particles that float around freely.
Coldness coming from the wooden floor-
that creaks as I make my every step slowly-
sending chilling shockwaves through my body.

The longer I stay, the darkness increases.
Numbness fills my body from head to toe-
paint chips fall off the walls and crash on the ground-
lying there among all the shards of broken hearts
of people whom have failed and died in this room.

My oxygen supply is becoming cut off suddenly,
as I take my last breath in this room amongst
all the sadness and depression that it holds.
Picking up the knife that has been overused-
and slicing my wrist as I add my share of pieces
of my broken heart to the mix of others on the floor.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Mister 47

    Although you dont know where this poem cam from ,
    i cna easly relate to it some of my 500 reason to die

    when i close my etyes, i se your words in front of me like i am living them

    great work
    althought it need more rhyming

  • 15 years ago

    by x Mo x

    Wow, you're good at writing feelings you've never felt before.

    I really loved how it flowed but not velvety. It seemed to keep a steady, subtle beat. I love the words you chose. They were great. "Shockwaves" was one that I've never ever seen in a poem before, but it fit in perfectly here.

    Excellent write.

    -mo-

  • 15 years ago

    by Travis

    Wowwowwwwowsers
    for someone that isnt feeling this at all
    it sure feels like you're depressed
    amazing
    loved the imagery
    it felt like i was just standing right next to ya
    excellent poem hun
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Sometimes having the feelings make the poem seem more real to the reader, ive had those feelings, part of my past and something i feel so strongly about.
    This was well written and well put together, a great read.
    with love,
    Tara-Kay

  • 15 years ago

    by Blissful

    Wow. This is so different for you Temps. So depressing! I loved the imagery because I could imagine everything you described clearly in my mind and it gave me chills. I do think the opening stanza was a bit weak and didnt capture my attention but the second stanza just utterly blew me away! I could jus see the room with broken hearts it truly made me sad. You made me feel what you were expressing and that is the result of an amazing poem.

    Well done.
    *5/5*

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