I Know the Path to Your Dreams

First of all what a great poem you have written, i'd like to give my honest opinion and thoughts.

“I know the path to a land you as a kid you dreamed to see,
Let me show you it, come on and take a walk with me.
I know you feel weak, just come and take my hand,
Enjoy the space between your toes as they're filled with shiny sand.”

I liked the opening line used here, it captured me and asked me to carry on reading.
In line 2 and 3 you used the word “come”, it threw off the flow, maybe you should have wrote “Just take my hand”

“I know a path to a world you never thought was real,
No need for explanations, I know exactly how you feel.
And if you can't walk, I'll carry you on my back,
Don't look back at the road behind, so cold and so black.”

Lines 3 and 4 threw off the flow, the word back was used too close together, maybe instead you should have wrote
“And if you cannot walk, I’ll carry you on my back,
Don’t look at the road behind, so cold and black”

“I know a path to a place you never though existed,
Feel the hope, you won't be able to resist it.
I'll help you if you feel like you can't take it anymore,
I'll help you if you're tired and you're feet are swollen and sore.”

Line 1 is a repetition of Line 1 in the stanza above and this didn’t work well, though have no suggestions in how to change that. I liked this stanza it was full of hope and really made me smile.

“I know a path to a feeling you never thought you'd feel again,
I'll be there with you; I'll be your friend.
No one wants to walk this path on their own,
But here you won't have to hide all you've never shown.”

Loved this stanza, it was so full of love and kindness, good job.

“I know the path to happiness I want you to see,
Let me show it to you, come on and take a walk with me.
I've never been there, but I know it's there, I'll show you the way,
Just wake up in the morning and face another day. “

This final stanza ended the poem well, although the final line, seems too blunt in my opinion.

Great poem overall,
With love,
Tara-Kay