Deep Dark Hole.

by Courageous Dreamer   Aug 27, 2008


-This poem kind of changes from sad to happy. I'm not quite sure what category it fits best. Also, it's kind of a story poem - just a heads up!

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I fell down into that deep dark hole-
after my heart was shattered to pieces.
Everything came crashing down
including all my hopes and dreams-
to be able to love someone again.

Somedays I cried for hours on end-
nobody was there to wipe away the tears.
I was surrounded by pain and regret-
no hope remained inside of me.
Never did I once think I'd survive this fight.

Until my mood changed immensely-
bringing me out of this deep hole-
in which I dug myself out of quickly.
Immediately I began to see the light-
the optimistic attitude resurfaced.

My smile that I had one lost-
shined upon my face one again.
I left all the sad thoughts and frown-
down in the deep dark hole to stay-
for I hope that I never return there.

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  • 15 years ago

    by Goth marionette

    That's a very deep poem..Because transition is not easy when it's from sadness to happiness..
    I think it's a sign that u r not a weak person who simply gives up..
    I liked the subject so much:)
    Good job,plz keep it up..

  • 15 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    I like the transition, from sad to happy. It shows that people can get through things, regardless of what happens in their life.

    "Somedays I cried for hours on end-
    nobody there to wipe away the tears.
    I was surrounded by pain and regret-
    no hope remained inside me.
    Never did I once think I'd survive this fight."

    -- In the second line, I think you should add something after "nobody". Maybe "was". "..nobody was there.." And in the fourth line, I think you should add "of" after "inside".

    Everything else is flawless. Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • 15 years ago

    by Adelle

    It flowed but nothing in it really captured me I could feal no emotion when I read it and it just diden't keep me intrested bye the start of the last stanza I just wanted to stop reading. You explain you fealings well now you just need to add some emotion to them.

  • 15 years ago

    by CourtneyyContageous

    This was a beautiful poem. Very good flow. I love how your poems are always so descriptive about the feelings, or the places you or your charachter is in. I this particular poem, I find it very sad, but in a was very happy. Every girl needs to pick themselves up every once and a while. I think a few people could learn from ti actually. 5/5

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