The Beautiful Glass Box

(Just for you readers, the vow I'm talking about is the vow I took not to commit suicide)

It makes me want to run but I don't know where,
I want to get away but I don't know how,
But I flee knowing I will not escape the peaceful blare,
Wishing I knew just why the hell I made that vow..

Someone once told me that if I want something, I should fight for it no matter what. She never told me what I should do when I want to know what I want. Who do you fight other than yourself for answers?

It's like watching the world from outside of a glass box. You see everything and for a few seconds you swear you're part of it and you can smile and laugh with everybody else. But when you start to walk down the street of your visions, you don't go anywhere and you realize once again just how close you really are.

One day a door appears on the side of that wondrous glass box, and you rush in without hesitation, feeling at once for a split second everything you thought life should be. You start walking and realize that once again, you aren't going anywhere. You look around. The world that was inside all soared out when you opened the door. You laugh and say jokingly to yourself, "Boy what a good idea that was.."

Turning the doorknob, the only response you get is a rattle and the sound of laughter from the other side. It's not a joke anymore. You wanted to get in, and now you can't get out. Some part of you knows that you aren't meant for the world, and all of the reveries are there just to tantalize you. You would scream, but there was never anybody there to give you a voice, and you would kick through the glass walls, but there never was a father or a friend to pass the time as you grew up and got stronger.

How do you like being watched?