For a Friendship to Remain

This poem is excellent. I thought your word choice was perfect, and the true emotion was there. The audience can read this and see that you really care deeply for this friend of yours. The rhymes were wonderful, as well.

I know what it's like to have a friend who I care so much for, that losing them would completely turn my world upside down. When you find that friend, hold on as long as you can, because there is nothing better than having a great friend.

To be honest, it is really hard to critique this, as there are no mistakes in my opinion. You've written a beautiful piece. Great job.

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana

"Created for a heart pierced with a dart"
- I love the internal rhyme in this line. Quite creative. (:

"Past tells of great loss and loneliness
Future indicates something unrevealed
Present is soaked in sweet happiness
Dark urges surrendered, demons were killed"
- Definitely my favorite stanza. I loved your usage of the past, present, and future. It was very unique and it helped the reader understand how this person has changed your life.

You pulled off a tricky rhyme scheme which is nice, and the flow wasn't rocky at all. Overall - A very touching poem.

5.5
Take care,
Stephanie.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww how cuteeeeeee *__*
I think every girl in the world would kill just to be Lidia :P
good job my friend

Opening up to places considered unknown
Not covering the emotions of ones heart
Whispering secrets through a gentle tone
Created for a heart pierced with a dart
------A nice start for a poem, a very subtle feeling and somehow at peace atmosphere was running throughout here. I liked the brokenheart and dart connection here. It sounded and appeared really OUCH.Great rhyming and was not forced at all.

Past tells of great loss and loneliness
Future indicates something unrevealed
Present is soaked in sweet happiness
Dark urges surrendered, demons were killed
------Wow, what a lovely way of recognizing what present has for you, regardless of how mesirable was the past yet you able to enjoy the present without being scared of the future. And most important thing, the happiness you are feeling right now able to lighten up the dark side. Present is soaked in sweet happiness really left me with an awe. Good Stuff..

Meeting you was an unexpected pleasure
Couldn't expect anything from the start
Our friendship, I'll always treasure
Within the deepest realms of my heart
--------A cute way of appreciating a blossoming as you stated friendship. A very warm welcoming for a new friend. A truly touching line that is the third line, very powerful.

Couldn't believe it would be so good
First thought of you with no expectation
Knowing now I'm being understood
Decided my heart without hesitation
-------The good thing in you was you were able to maintain the perfect rhyming with ease. The words used were seemed perfect for the sentence. Very good indeed.

Finally as we'll see each other someday
I'll hold your arm then hug you tight
For a friend like you I used to pray
Without you life could never be so bright
--------Awww.. A very touching words that can brighten anyones day. I think i know who Lidia is..Good Job..xDD