Red on White

Angry red lay across angry white,
As the only way I'll sleep tonight.

Can't close my eyes 'cause all I see,
Is how distorted I can be.

Thoughts twisting, pounding in my head,
So many things I've left unsaid.

Clenching these fists, I can't escape,
Kill the memory if it's not too late.

A million apologies can't ever heal,
But I need to hurt if I want to feel.

The youthful age blurs all those nights,
Inside my head are endless fights.

How can I help you if I'm too afraid,
To not keep up this masqarade?

So nauseated from guilt and hate,
How many more fights can I take?

Inflicted punishment does not erase,
How I know I'm a disgrace.

My inner battles morphing into rage,
In my bible of guilt; another page.

Endless chapters of hopless healing,
Red on white ends my feeling.