This is great. A dilemma we will all face at some point. We should live our lives that way, but as humans we all sin. Some sins we regret, some we dont. Very interesting subject matter.

The start of the poem was perfect.
It set the reader up for what lies ahead.
The flow is very good.
the emotion and detail made the whole poem stand out.

However you do have a few misspelled words.
"I grab my seatbelt their's blood on the buckle"
>"...there's blood on the buckle"
"my girlfriend is gonna have to find another husband to love her"
>this line doesn't fit quite well with the whole poem. it sort of disturbs the whole emotion.
the poem would probably flow better without these two lines.
*but it's just advice...

"the Angel is coming down to bring me back, I go black..."
>i like this line, but i think "I go black...." doesn't connect with the poem. I'd leave this out...*again your choice.

"I wake up and see her finger through *he* wind shield crack"
>*The* is misspelled.

"I think back, think back to my sins.
how many did i scam, how terrible have I been?"
>love these lines. they show the fear of dying and what lies ahead after death.

And the ending was simply flawless!
loved the way you gave a choice to the character, but not really writing it straight out.

Over all this is an amazing poem, and unique topic!!

P.S. like i said this is only advice and don't feel bad all my poems have some misspelled words and some parts that don't flow to well.

**Ada**
*aBSwaBHiaPL*

Opening stanza - Very strong. The rhyme is great, and the word choice is already standing out to me.
For example..
"as an agnostic man this isn't how I pictured my end"
`Agnostic.. great adjective.:] I compliment you on that!

"seem like a waste of cash when Jesus Christ comes down from his throne"
`This line was a bit long, but I think the flow is still doing alright so don't worry too much about it. :] Yet, it stands out because it's longer than that rest.. but no problem if you can hold a consistant flow then thats all that matters. :]

"my girlfriend is gonna have to find another husband to love her"
`I didn't like the slang here, cause you didn't have any other slang words in the poem. Change gonna to going to. :]

"I wake up and see her finger through he wind shield crack"
`He should be the?
`I think these two lines the rhyming was probably a little forced, but.. eh it was alright!

"how many did i scam, how terrible have I been?"
`I needs to be capitolized...

Overall, a great write. I didn't see that many flaws in it, so well done (: 5/5

This piece is very well written awesome job =]
Your wording was well chosen to and the flow was perfect. I also thought your tittle for the poem was a good chioce and the rhyme scheme was spot on XD
Wicked job, im goin to have to check out more of your work ^^
5/5

The skies part, the four horsemen descend
as an agnostic man this isn't how I pictured my end
----A very captivating opening I must say. Your imagination was absolutely stupendous.

all the sneakers I collected and the jewelery I own
seem like a waste of cash when Jesus Christ comes down from his throne
-----The jewelery I think should changed to jewelry. Yeah I agree with Leap, the second line seemed to long although it wasn’t bad at all.

I have nothing to leave, there's no legacy here
the best stuff I ever wrote is still inbetween my ears
----The inbetween should be in-between. I liked the second line. Very deep and expressed a certain emotion although it sounded a bit of being a pessimist to me.

The ending was ok although I was expecting for an answer to which one you should choose.
Other that that, I think it was very creative and unique. Good Job.

Again, wow. i love your writing! this poem makes me think of my life and wat i could do to be better and wat my judgement day will be like. this is an amazing poem! you've got real talent! i give u a 5/5!!

Excellent poem first off.
Now the thing is it looks like a very freeverse poem.I thought this was gunna be some bloodlaiden impression of Dooms day but I was wrong you have the right concept of it and even better words to put it down on to paper and it was so simple it was more simple then some of my poems which I write like 16 words in one stanza but just one thing to make it flow better and look cleaner.First stanza for example.

The skies part, the four horsemen descend
as an agnostic man this isn't how I pictured my end

Try this.

The skies part,
The four horsemen decend.
As an agnostic man,
This is not how I pictured my end.

Just try better stanzas and thats it 5/5

Was I an angel or a monster, I hadn't a clue

That's a question. :] Part of it is at least. Was I an angel or a monster? Then you can answer it afterwards, but that part is a question for sure.

The part where you had to choose, that was a great choice of words, that was awesome, same as the best things written are inbetween your ears.

I asked what she wanted and what I could give?

That's a statement.

The only other thing I say to work on is punctuation. I saw a period or two and then nothing. It was just a bit off. I personally like punctuation, it's like a picture frame, but for a poem. It just makes it look nice and brings it all together.

It was a good poem, the rhyming and rhythem was off in a few parts, but other than that fine.

Four out of five.

The whole point of this poem is the heritage and sins of a simple man after judgment day arrives. You described it in an interesting way as an actual angel is judgming a destiny of every man alive.
There were some nice rhymes, but the last two stanzas ruined the flow. The poem was written in an interesting way, and I could imagine the events mentioned.
Also, you used a 2 lined stanza structure which is not common...

Nice work overall 4/5

I enjoyed the read and it was interesting, but there were some flow issues and lines that didn't necessarily rhyme with eachother. I agree with your statements though, sometimes it takes a lot of wrong doing before you realize whats right. Overall it was pretty good I gave it a 4/5...nice job

"seem like a waste of cash when Jesus Christ comes down from his throne"
"but that is what she wanted and was the only thing that I could give"

Filler words.

Watch your word choice, cash doesn't sound very poetic compared to money, scam doesn't sound very poetic compared to wronged.
Stuff is never poetic. You don't need it in the line you use it in.

I did like the idea of this a lot, it's fresh and unique, and I love how the person is thinking about all the things that they could have done better or shouldn't have done at all.
I also like how you set out the stanza's, two lines each was very effective in this case.

My advice to you would be to learn to polish your work after you write it. Look to make the lines the same length and watch your vocabulary.

Still a great poem, good work, 5/5

jess ~

I could say a unique poem in subject frist time i read somthing liek that

hell or heaven right or wrong , who can set teh scale , of right or wrong?

to be choosen to heaven or hell , that is a thought desicion , but i think it si all about intentions ,and a pure sould and heart at the ed , that can be judged in , someon can hurt another but intend good , and do it by mistake maybe , or not know it could hurt,

correctiong our wrongs are things, made to be facts if we want to deserve a better life in this world or the next

over all the poem is a great on , and i enjoyed reading ,

it made me remmber a lot of things needed to be done in my life!!!

5/5

I loved the message you got across in this poem. When you really look at it and youre faced with death, will you be happy with the life you live? Which is why I livee my life in a way that I will be proud of. Anyway, I do think that the flow here could be better because some sentence had words that just roughened up the flow but all in all this was a very true and powerful read. The topic you used was different then what one can usually find on this site which made me want to read more and truly think about what you were expressing. Overall a great write.

Well done.
*5/5*

I really liked it. It really displayed emotions well. It was a very good write. I'm not big on religion, but it was very good.

I feel you in this poem, and the mental fight between right in wrong. Good and evil. I am agnostic myself, so I connected on that level.
The flow was right, by the end it's didn't seem like I was reading it any more. It felt like it was my own mental thoughts. Any writer can connect with there reader's, It's hard to make someone literally become one with your writings. You have a gift.
Keep it up, and I'll keep reading. :)

5/5

xoxox
Jenn.

DS praised Jenn's comment with a very thoughtful comment of his own that should not be lost, so I am placing it here.

praise by Dark Savior:

"Thank you,

This is exactly what I wanted to do rather than lead a person along. I am glad you were able to feel this way as the poem was meant to be just this. I wanted to lead a person but then stop it suddenly and allow their own throught process to continue.

I'm glad I was able to help you continue to think about things such as this and continue to not only reflect on just words put on a computer screen, but reflect on yourself which is something I struggle with.

I was scared the ending was too abrupt, but it seems you've gained the insight I was going for.

Thank you,
DS "