Our regret

by Gooberz   Nov 1, 2008


Open my mind to the words
That I have chosen not to hear
All because of the pain they'd inflict
Well now I have nothing to fear

Let me bleed the rest of my emotions
Slice open these interwoven veins
I still have something left to feel here
Even if it's only the figments of pain

Come on anger I'm ready for you
Give me everything you have got left
You have taken everything else anyway
And you will not be forgiven for your theft

It's because of you I am dead on the inside
It's your fault there is nothing left for me
But you're the reason I choose to stand now
Like a phoenix I will rise through are debris

Permit me our last battle devil of my soul
I am ready now to wrestle with our fate
Even if I have to accept what you have become
I won't let you become my current state

Show me what you have became
What I have let you turn into
These are my words don't you hear
Come surface after what we've been through

Through our good times and most of the bad
These things we have done I will never forget
But I have to say after our battle is finished
It will still be me living, living with this; Our regret

3


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenna

    5/5 I am really sorry for all the grammar police leaving comments, because nothing kills as fast as bad grammar you know..... lol. Keep up the good work.

  • 11 years ago

    by Brittany C

    This poem is depressing. Poems about cutting are not my favorite. But I still gave it a 5/5 because everything about it was great from the wording to the flow and emotion. Keep up the great work =)

  • 11 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Come on anger I'm ready for you
    Give me everything you have got left
    You have taken everything else anyway
    And you will not be forgiven for your theft
    For the second line , in stead of you have , try 'that you've' . It's less awkward . And for the third just replace you have with 'you've' .

    Like a phoenix I will rise through are debris
    Are should be our .

    Again , i like the over all idea . You're a very talented writter , just try and be careful of the awkwardness .. But still 5/5 once again .

  • "Let me bleed the rest of my emotions
    Slice open these interwoven veins
    I still have something left to feel here
    Even if it's only the figments of pain"

    ^My favorite stanza.Amazing.

    In the 1st line in the 4th stanza I noticed that you have "b/c"...please edit that out and put "because".The shorthand takes away from the power of the poem.
    But other than that,a fantastic job.5/5

    -Amber

  • 11 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Interesting piece. Let me help you out with a couple typos:

    ^It's b/c of you I am dead on the inside
    It's your fault there is nothing left for me
    But you're the reason I choose to stand now
    Like a phoenix I will rise through are debris ^

    The b/c although not a typo, you shouldn't use text type language in a poem. It makes it look as though you haven't the time to make the piece look presentable.

    ^I wont let you become my current state^
    won't

    ^Show me what you have became
    What I have let you turn into
    These are my words don't you here^ hear

    ^Through are good times and most of the bad ^ our
    T

    A very sadly penned portrayal of heartache.

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