I Lay Here With You Until The Final Goodbye [Contest]

by Marc Ortiz   Nov 5, 2008


The sun revealed all the dramatic colors of the sky,
As the warm breeze whispered harmonic songs.
The petals soared high with the gentle, warm wind..
It was like a perfect melody in a serene day.

I wished my heart felt the same - A tranquil feeling.
But that won't happen because the girl I love;
Will soon be one of God's angel in Heaven.
Every tear that fell at that time slowly wounded my heart...

"Nothing in this world can ever compare
To you - my only one because,
In my heart there's only one moon
No matter where I'll go, I'll feel your light."

"Before I met you I doubted true love."
Those were the words she told me with her dying voice...
I gazed into the eyes of an angel for the last time,
As we laid there; hand in hand above my heart

Until the final Goodbye...

*Contest*

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by xX the left behind Xx

    Beautiful poem..
    such amazing imagery..i could picture it all in my mind..you have a way with words.
    pretty sad though..but still..it's beautiful.
    keep up the good work. :)

  • 15 years ago

    by capturedelight

    Your poem was lovely and great but i was wondering why you put quotations around some parts, is the poem speaking. I started to visualize the poem, but why does she die( or more how) otherwise my thinking mind almost ruins it for me. anywho you wrote it beautifully, nice work

  • 15 years ago

    by Summerbaby18

    That was so heartfelt and absolutely amazing!
    It was a very deep inspriational poem! Great job!(:

  • 15 years ago

    by SashaMirage

    Your poem was very sad and romantic at the same time.
    "The sun revealed all the dramatic colors of the sky,
    As the warm breeze whispered harmonic songs.
    The petals soared high with the gentle, warm wind..
    It was like a perfect melody in a serene day"
    These lines were so beautiful and they were the perfect beginning and opening paragraph for the next phrase:
    "I wished my heart felt the same - A tranquil feeling"
    "in my heart theres only one moon" This line was so romantic and filled with devotion.
    "As we laid there; hand in hand above my heart" This was so sweet and sad...It really painted a picture of you lying beside your love as she was dying. great job 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This free verse poem flows nicely into intense emotion reaching my very soul

    well done

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