Ashes to Ashes

"Soon the earth would be the dirt"
Would? I think that you should replace 'would' with 'will'. Due to the simple fact that 'will' is grammatically correct.

I feel as if I'm constantly repeating myself with your poetry. And, I am. Absolutely, there's no question about it. I enjoy your poetry. There's rarely anything serious wrong with it, or anything in large amounts. So, your poetry is almost flawless, not quite. But, to me it's getting there. You've done a good job with writing these poems. I applaud your writing skills, Michael.

Very good poem. It makes a good point. The wording was strong and s was the flow. I gave it a 5/5. I agree with you on this one. Keep up the great work.

Very good poem. It makes a good point. The wording was strong and s was the flow. I gave it a 5/5. I agree with you on this one. Keep up the great work.

"Did ashes and dirt, form life without fire? "

^^ brilliant line I must say... something to think about...

I won't say this is your best write because I have read some of your mind blowing poems.. bt still a good read with a very different topic...

keep writing..

"With no memories of molten ash
Where elements began to clash
Safely we assume and assert
Soon the earth would be the dirt"

^^ I really love this opening, the imagery you place here is beautiful and creates such vivid pictures for me as the reader.

"Seven seas could not quench fires
Of randomness without desires
Yet the air would feed passion's flame
Where nothing seems to stay the same

Did from the dirt spring all the life
Where no living creature felt the strife
Soon even that point would be mute
As though nature could yield bad fruit"

^^ I feel this is getting better and better as I go along, and with each stanza you write, you're adding more depth and emotion, the piece becoming stronger throughout.

"From the clouds there has come by chance the rain
Then from intelligence does one create the brain?
And from the heart which bore no desire
Did ashes and dirt, form life without fire? "

^^ I'm not to sure on this...I don't think you need the "and" in the third line, and the flow seemed a little of for me on the closing line whereas in every other part of the poem I found the flow to be absolutely flawless.

My favourite part of this piece would have to be the imagery, it's breathtakingly beautiful.