A world without Color

Damn dude,,
That touched me.
One heavy poem, yet beautiful written.. as I remember.
Hope you're oké..
Such a young person shouldn't feel such deep sad emotions.

Take care,
Hebe

This really did take a lot of heart. It shows. You really touched me with this.

I like the way you made this one.
and ofcourse powerful emotion,
a bloody voice and
massive depression
written to the one and only you!
keep it up

This is pure raw emotions. Its so well written. Every line and every words was stinging. Great job.

"My memories that was beautiful in my eyes"
`Was should be changed to WERE

"Is slowly fading into a colorless world."
`Is should be ARE.. remember; plural subjects require plural verbs.

"But not everyone are like that; most of them
Just disappeared like the smile on my face...."
`This entire stanza is very sad, friends saying goodbye, losing your smile.. you can just feel the sorrow and emotion through every word. Your smilie here was sad but simply worded.. and got a point across.. that youre losing your smile as well as your friends. This world is definatly without color, and filled with much sadness.

"But not everyone IS like that.." - remember if its a singular subject, its a singular verb.. and plural subjects use plural verbs. I think that subject/verb agreement is important in poetry, if you dont have the correct word things just seem to sound so awkward and it makes the reader stop reading because of that.

"My family who's supposed to be there
Doesn't realize the emotions inside me.
I don't know if there's a person in this world
Who will notice and heal the wounds in my heart."
`Everything in this poem is simply worded yet you can just hear this person crying as they write this.. and the sadness pouring out. Good job letting the reader feel your emotions and have a good understanding of them.

"Lord, I pray that you will send someone for me.
I need anyone with me, because I don't know if...
I can live another day without anyone by my side.
Lord, if my memories will completely turn black..."
`I liked this stanza.. its almost like youre pleading, because you cant take this anymore..it shows more of what youre feeling within.

"Please, let me be one with my memories,
So no one will remember me when I'm gone..."
`A strong ending.. even more filled with sadness. :/

Sorry, I didnt realize that you didnt wnat us to point out grammar mistakes, but maybe you'd consider editing this in the future.

Overall, a sad write spoken from the heart.. the reader can feel your emotions and feelings just like you can.

Good job.
5/5.

Temps [Beyond a Poet's Mind]