Rejections

by Shinobi   Nov 24, 2008


Deepest desires are not always met
Even when everything seems to be set
Disappointments surround a broken will
The dark voice inside echoes: "Kill"

Wounded by rejection, crimson blood drops
Stabbed in the heart by a sacred blade
Cutting my every vein like reaping crops
Mind lost in darkness, body decayed

Waiting for a meeting with a celestial being
The days fly by quickly, the hour has arrived
Now, once again, feeling myself bleeding
This is not the ending for which I've strived

The departure shattered before me
Despair once again whisperers in my ear
Feelings of agony, raging, let me see
The end arrives, and it is so near

I wish I had my Utopia standing still
I wished it all become true
The voices echoing, pledging to kill
Sorrowful rejections, it's all through

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    The departure shattered before me
    Despair once again whisperers in my ear
    Feelings of agony, raging, let me see
    The end arrives, and it is so near

    *This was my favorite part. The way you write is so captivating. I love your style and the way you rhyme is flawless. I thought you expressed yourself very well here. I enjoyed this very much. Keep it up. Nik*

  • 16 years ago

    by Sourav

    Well written. Somehow dark and sad. Gripping write. Enjoyed it!

  • 16 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Even when everything seems set
    I would at some words here .
    Even when everything seems to be set . It flows a little better .

    This is not the ending I've strived
    This is not the ending for which I've strived .

    The flow seems kindof off in the first stanza , and I'm really not a fan of the last line of it . I gave you a suggestion to kind of fix it up . Otherwise , the flow is pretty good , and I like your rhyme scheme , but i think it would be better if you made the first stanza rhyme the same way as the rest . 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by kelleyana

    This is a sad and touching write, yet very well written. Sometimes there are so many rejections and one feel lost as if the world turn it's back against him, yet keep the faith, believe that you're just in a tunnel and soon you'll see the light. It merits 5/5, keep it up, kel.

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