My child, My darling.

by Teria   Dec 3, 2008


My child, My darling.

Awake! My child
to behold the beauty,
for today's the only day.

Beware! My darling
forever unseen,
the earth bestill this way.

Fall not! My child
into darkness at hand,
for you shall never stray.

Speak! My darling,
and fear for existence,
it's come to rescue we.

Beware! My child,
forever unseen,
the love that shadow's thee.

Triumph! My darling,
is how you believe
that God has sent you to me.

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Nicole the Fairy

    Hi! =)

    "Awake! My child
    to behold the beauty,
    for today's the only day.

    Beware! My darling
    forever unseen,
    the earth bestill this way.

    Fall not! My child
    into darkness at hand,
    for you shall never stray.

    Speak! My darling,
    and fear for existence,
    it's come to rescue we.

    Beware! My child,
    forever unseen,
    the love that shadow's thee.

    Triumph! My darling,
    is how you believe
    that God has sent you to me."

    -- Where's that oxygen mask I asked for!? HAHA
    Loved it. flawless.

    I loved how..

    - you started the stanza with a word. or a statement.. and then followed with a ( ! ) very unique.

    - you used, 'my child' in stanza's 1, 3 and 5. Very well done for this. this also adds a unique touch to the poem.. first time ive ever see this! =)

    - you have rhymed the last line for the first 3 stanzas with each other and the last line for the last 3 stanzas with each other.
    again such beautiful techniques used!

    Very well done! LOVED the poem! had such flow and the words you have used add even more of a finishing touch. =)

    Well done! And keep up the great work!

    =)

    [ 5 / 5 ]

    - Nicole
    xox

  • 10 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    I really like the rhyme scheme , it's original and that always adds beauty to a poem . The rhymes are simple yet meaning ful , and your wording is also really good . I also really like the alternated repetition .. And I have nothing bad to say at all about this . Great job , 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by kelleyana

    I like this poem. It was well written and meaningful, keep it up, kel.

  • 10 years ago

    by Brittany C

    This poem makes some good points and is a good lesson that can be hard to learn. The wording was great and I liked the format. I gave this poem a 5/5. I saw nothing that needed to be adjusted.