Like a Puppet Turned Out to Pasture

by ether   Dec 27, 2008


Like a puppet turned out to pasture,
Strings too stretched and frayed to hold,
Face too torn and garments too old.
A tiny cross upon left cheek:
Didn't mean to worry you for weeks,
Well, not about the indices or the soul:
Worry about it all as a whole.
Asking dead lettermen for the time:
It's just ticking backwards in a line.
See these eyes that turn these feet
They are like twins that never meet,
Playing a song that each other knows
And looking at the same gaps between toes.
No point in reflections, mirrors lie-
Just like the show we never thought would die,
Like the puppet turned out to pasture,
Wasn't performing the same as last year.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Teria

    "Face too torn and garments too old."
    [Face too torn, garments too old.]
    - This change is definitely not needed and it probably doesn't affect most readers. It's just something that I personally think sounds better. Why I think that? It flows a bit more and I think that 'and' was stated in the line before in the exact same position.

    "A tiny cross upon left cheek:"
    [A tiny cross upon ____ left cheek:]
    - I'd absolutely put something there. Like her/the/he/she/their... so on. Just about anything will fit nicely. Even something like 'solid left cheeks' or something. I think the line just sounds empty and needs more syllables to it, in order for it to flow good.

    The rest is written well. I think once you get that one, main line - which to me has a pretty big part in the poem - then it'll sound better and flow a lot better too.

    "See these eyes that turn these feet
    They are like twins that never meet,"

    - I loved these two lines. The beginning didn't really grab my attention. It did enough for me to want to read the poem but not to be like ' i have to absolutely read this poem' and so on. These lines do though. They're like 'WOW, THIS ROCKS'. Lol

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