My World

by Sourav   Jan 6, 2009


My heart knows no barricade
Barricade is not for me
It's simply false and facade
Beyond the border I can see.

I love your smile I love your face
Love your words and your grace
If you're broken I'm here to mend
If you're falling I'm ready to defend.

My heart knows only to love
Love that holds no cast & race
I can give you a rose & a dove
Only to see your smiling face.

I don't understand the language of fire & gun
Only fire I love is the smiling sun
If you give me your precious hand
We can harvest flowers in the deserted sand.

My heart says whole world is my home
Home of love and all are my own
If you are with me then I fathom-
We can overcome the thorn & throne.

My heart is singing a song for you
A world without the hatred, black & blue
Where no one is lost & no one is betrayed
Everyone finds a place under one big shade.

I don't compare God with the God
God is my power religion is not
If you can love me then there'll be no odd
Only, barricade needs to be broken in your thought.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Rohit Sapra

    These are inspiring verses which inspire everyone to follow the language of love.

  • 15 years ago

    by Nee

    I liked the idea in this piece. especially the optimism you tended to hold on to.
    I have some things to criticize though:

    #1: Your rhyme: went a bit cliche at some parts, like "me and "see", "defend" and "mend", "face" and "grace", not to mention that you repeated the same rhyme in the third stanza with "race" and "face".
    I would like to say, make variety in your rhyme, for example the rhyme doesn't have to be full, you can try using the half rhyme, like "sight" and "confide", or like "part" and "spark" or "dark"..rhyme is optional, don't let it sound like it is forced or a must.

    #2: The repetition: I noticed the repetition of the last word in the first line in the first word of the second line..it kinda gave me the hints that you didn't know how to word the poem.

    #3: Some lines were too long for an AbAb rhyme that it made the flow go a bit off.

    That's all I have to say, I hope you understand that rhyme is optional, forcing it is not the answer.
    I really loved the idea of the piece though, you keep it up with keeping these things in mind.
    Best of luck =)

  • 15 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    HYE it is really a fanstic poem. it is full of life
    it bring little simile on my painful heart.

    5/5 from my side

  • 15 years ago

    by Veja

    I think this poem is great , therefore i'll add u as a favourite just so i can find u easy and read more of wat u have worte

  • 15 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    I like this, it is an inspirationmal poem about hope and faith.

    I believe that it could be tweaked a little, regarding the meter, I think it would impact better with the rhythm that meter would ive it. That said, I still feel that this is a good poem. PM me if you like, I will explain if you would like that.

    Take care

    Michael

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