Blue Payne

Nice poem. A masterpiece here!

Wow...
Honestly, this is amazing. I find this poem truly flawless from the first to the last line, and can't add any suggestion/critique for the improvement. I admire the vividness of every stanza, your descriptions are superbly dark yet so elegant, and they left me in awe. I wish this write was longer, because every stanza is deeply enjoyable and refreshing. I could clearly imagine everything that you portrayed here, with a hint of eerie atmosphere and amazing choice of words.
I like the rhythm/flow of the poem, too. You did great job with rhymes throughout the poem.
All the metaphors are breathtaking. I especially like the ending, it's profound. This is one of the best poems in 'dark' category I've read in a while.

Greatly done.

In embers burnt, the sky turns black
As ashes fall in tears of loss
And heartache weeps into the night
When restless dreams in pain are tossed
^^^
Love ... love ... love these lines Jeannie.

Wonderful woven as always ... the sadness flows through each and every line and holds the readers attention tightly.

Great read by a wonderful poet ... thanks for sharing Auntie

Jeannie, I can't even tell you how much I love your work, you have a certain rhythm that flows so smoothly and your rhymes are always perfect! The content hauntingly sad and full of emotion.Love it!