Imprisoned

Its a really good poem with a few errors, what poem won't? Anyways, I rate it 4/5.(:

The title should be "Imprisoned"

There are quite a few spelling mistakes throughout this piece. Most were pointed out in thr comment above so maybe review that comment and fix those?

"my skin exposed with scares"

- should be scars

"her fakeness makes it worst"

- worst should be worse.
Instead of using fakeness, maybe use a thesaurus to find a stronger word there? Just a suggestion.

Once you fix thr mistakes, it'll be a much better poem.

Oh! I LOVE THIS! It's so...hmm....I don't know the word for it, but it's awesome! =D!

--Hannah

"Screams cant stop the pain
my fault is who i blame"

"cant" should be "can't".

"i" should be "I".

I felt that the second line was a bit awkward in the wording, I didn't quite grasp what you were trying to say here.

"her tears doesn't do a thing"

"doesn't" should be "don't".

"only blood i want to see
the light is what i dream"

Very haunting here, I love it! Just capitalize your "i"s.

"my skin exposed wit scares"

"wit" should be "with".

"unpleasant pleasure taken too far"

To be honest, "unpleasant pleasure" didn't sound the best together, though it does work.

"trapped in this cold place
hard to get this to erase"

Good rhyming, it is simple yet does the job.

"her fakeness makes it worst"

"worst" should be "worse".

"she infected me with this curse
that in prison me in this regret"

Re-read the second line, it does not completely make sense, I do not know what you meant, sorry.

"eyes pitch black
skin pure white
i close them and hold them tight
only wishing to go away painlessly....."

I did like the ending though, nice expressive emotions.

3/5 from me, just improve on your grammar and this poem will improve greatly. I also found some errors that were a bit weak and could be better worded.

Take care and God bless you!

~MaryAnne