Breathing Mistake

I like the word choice in this one but the flow of it is off.
3rd stanza 3rd line needs to be thought not though.

I liked how expressive it was.
Very good.

I feel my lungs enlarge
As I breathe in your pain
It burns pass my skin
And I just want to be erased.

^amazing way of opening your poem. it got my intrested. flow was great.

Why couldn't you love me?
Wasn't I good enough?
You could lie to me.
But being honest was too tough.

^For me i love poems with questions cuz it makes me thinkin and wonder. lol for sum people being honest, tellin the truth it's hard. and well i can relate not being loved back the way you would wanted to be.

I wished we could be
You were perfect.
I though I had a chance
But my heart didn't deserve it.

^Nice choose in words here. i wouldn change a thing here.

I cry, but my tears don't count.
I dreamed, but the dreams always fade
Midnight finds me
When the stars slip away.

^I learned n know that crying doesnt solve anything in this word just makes the person u cryin at feel bad n useless. i love that part " Midnight finds me
When the stars slip away" very imagnie. love it.

I'm still longing for you
While you love someone else.
I still need you
Even though you won't help.

^again i can relate to this has many poeple can as well. not beyin loved back. the needin for someone but they arent they.

I'm not perfect
And I wish my feelings were fake.
I'm the one you lost
Your breathing mistake.

^i like the way you ended your poem here. and to say we can control our feelings. we cant control who we fall for or like. our heart decide not you. love it.
5/5

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy

This is amazing!
There's barely any words to describe this poem! This was one I could relate to...kinda.

5/5
Great job.

-Ally

Its good... love this one too!! :)) (ha, it has a double chin) (lol j/k)

Well done it was a well crafted piece of work the words flow well together it had good rythem stucture and emotion it was brilliant all the way through