Lovers Lost At Sea~Lune

by Poet on the Piano   Jun 12, 2009


Whirlpools of passion,
Immerse two sweethearts in the
Waters of lust.

------------------------

A Lune is a three line poem that has a word count
of 3, 5, 3.

Thanks to Temps for a little revision on the middle line.

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Some of this was a bit too cliche, like the word drowning.. but other than that an okay poem. Nothing that really 'blew me' away.. but very lovely write and great job with yet another form.

    Temps. [Beyond A Poets Mind]

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Sometimes I comment to friends when I am not awake yet and make a complete fool of myself, ha ha.
    Thanks for the message about the word count, indeed when it is only about words ( instead of syllables) you should stick to waters, much better:)

    *hugs*

    Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    MaryAnne,

    How about "pool of lust"? Waters is a good word, but has two syllables:)

    To drown in a pool of lust is a pleasant experience btw, ha ha.

    Good poem, good subject:)

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

Read All Comments (3)

More Poems By Poet on the Piano