Final Price...

This is amazing..congratulations :) 5/5 for sure
take care.michelle :)

My open heart aches,
Feeling the agony of all my pain,
From words transformed into swords,
That pierce my soul deeply.

Vicious dogs howl under the moonlight
As shadows dance in perfect delight.
Riding upon the wings of a breeze a ghoul
silently snatches an innocent soul.

The smell of firewood accompanies the mist.
A snowy silhouette rises with the dust
Whose clouds stretch a veil, concealing the light,
An unexplained dream haunts me in the night.

A grave conceives me from its cold womb,
Wilted leaves scatter on my tomb,
Tears seeps from my gloomy eyes,
As to death I pay the final price...

Hope this helps compare both poems, my plagiarism to your original and glean what you like. I deliberately don't read other peoples comments until I have finished mine so this is purely my own ideas of your work and I hope this helps. Ray S a lot of people like the original I just think mine it is better the way I have worded it, Perhaps the others are right.

"The words transformed into swords,
that pierce deep within my soul."
`This really adds to the pain youve already spoken of, making the reader feel it themselves. Great job to describe how painful those words are.. how they turned into swords, great metaphor.

"silently snatching an innocent soul."
`You both already used soul above.. so maybe something else may sound better here.. but nonetheless everything is very well written..

"The smell of firewood accompany the mist."
`Shouldnt accompany be accompanies?

"Clouds stretching the veil, concealing the light,
an unexplained dream haunting me in the night. "
`Really loved these two lines, just the way things were worded was wonderful.

"Grave conceives me in her cold womb
Wilted leaves scattered on my tomb
Tears seep from my gloomy eyes
and to death I pay the final price..."
`Very very sad ending.. the sadness builds up throughout the poem then booom! the end is very very sad.

Well done the two of you.

5/5.

Temps. [Beyond a Poets Mind]

Wow is the word that comes in my mind.... Never realised your potential of writing sad poems. Superbly written. All the best to both of you guys. Keep writing.

Regards,
Bhavin

This is an amazing collaboration flawless flow
bone chilling theme delivered quite skillfully