Comments : Number Nine

  • 15 years ago

    by Hopeless Romantic

    Wow! kind of...serial killerish huh? Well written though! intense read m8!

  • 15 years ago

    by Rowena Linley

    Hey this great! Very thrilling and has a good rhytmn!

  • 15 years ago

    by Jubb Jubb

    This poem is amazing
    your talented
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Kaila

    I really enjoyed the idea of this poem. I think the flow was a little rocky and could be fixed easily by adding or subtracting some words. Also the rhyming was good but I think you may have focused too much on trying to rhyme that you may have forgotten how to just write how you really feel. Though I did enjoy this poem, it was dark without grossing me out. 5/5:)

  • 15 years ago

    by Austin

    Don't take it personally, but are all your poems about rape and murder? You should broaden your style - try something new. Also, work with fewer syllables in each line, it'll make the poem flow easier. I'd suggest using a 6-8 syllable format. That's what I work with.

    As for the poem itself. It's not bad. You were easily able to bring out a sense of fear and longing. I believe that sense is what made the poem enjoyable.

  • 15 years ago

    by xx

    ...morbid and twisted. I love it. Then again, maybe it's because everyone calls me morbid and twisted. Anyways, awesome poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by Mike

    Very good! as ive said all of these get 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "I can see you but you can't see me,
    The demon inside is raging to be free.
    I'm just waiting till you let your guard down,
    Everyone knows my talents are renown."

    Excellent flow and rhyming, this stanza captured my attention and held it. The depth and power inside this stanza was immense. I love it so far!

    "You don't even know the danger you're facing,
    When you realize, your heart will start racing.
    It's only a matter of time before I make you mine,
    You'll be my lucky number nine."

    Very intense, not once did you bore me yet, your wording is so entrancing.

    "When I'm ready I'll slide from behind you,
    This exciting feeling never felt so new.
    I'll embrace the sound of your screams,
    Your clothes will soon rip at the seams."

    Wow, very scary write here. You did good with this.

    "I'm going to tear you apart,
    This is the best part.
    Your eyes stay wide,
    Your body will remain where you lied. "

    A powerful ending, you really strike the reader and bring this poem alive to them. I love reading dark poems and this was a masterpiece. Not even kidding. 5/5 from me, keep it up!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 15 years ago

    by Jubb Jubb

    I liiiike.
    good imagery, 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by bekka dollface

    UH-MAY-ZING<3
    i looooove your poetry<3
    amazing writer<3

  • 15 years ago

    by Light A Way

    This extremely well written and I love it!!!..Awesome description...5/5 Good job!! :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    When I'm ready I'll slide from behind you,
    This exciting feeling never felt so new.
    I'll embrace the sound of your screams,
    Your clothes will soon rip at the seams

    *This part had so much imagery in it. I loved it. I got both a creepy and a sexual feeling from this. I think you did a good job overall though. Keep it up. Nik*

  • 15 years ago

    by Zeus

    A very dark and thrilling piece.
    I liked the dark diction.
    Although I felt the flow was a bit off, it was still well written; it also matches the mind of the murderer.

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Zeus

    A very dark and thrilling piece.
    I liked the dark diction.
    Although I felt the flow was a bit off, it was still well written; it also matches the mind of the murderer.

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    Really well put together and metered poem which kept me guessing what it was about until the last stanza, dark and scary ha! ha! I know one thing for sure if there is somebody out there you are pursuing don't let him read this ha! ha! Unless of course you know he is a Masochist Ray S 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The poem left me more excited than terrified. Very lyrical and well written

  • 14 years ago

    by Kim

    It is a great poem!
    Again, I like your choice of words and the flow of this one was just perfect.
    You really captured the feeling, which gave me goosebumps.
    I am not likely to read this poem again, but trust me... that's a good thing. ;)

  • 12 years ago

    by Amreen

    Wonderful write.....
    I agree with kim...the poem has good word usage....5/5 from me..:]