The Substitute

The substitute lover, another to wuther through,
Devised for me to suffer through,
Trying to communicate my love for you
Was something that I struggled not to stutter through,
Coz it ain't always easy for a man in my position to speak his disposition,
Though wishin' my ambition would bring me you - the first edition,
The definition and redefinition of what a woman's supposed to be,
And when you got close to me, it was like a drug,
And I overdosed, so free!

Until he...

Made his way into the picture,
Originally you and me painted it, and I WOULD say he tainted it but
The grains of the canvas, the very foundation for the art our love was
Had been predestined to contain his shades, hone his tones,
Call on his colors and provoke his strokes,
See you and him get paired up while I'm left to stare up
At the ceiling as if there's someone out there for me to care about but
Tell me where they are??
...But only if they exist...

Oh they don't?

If that's the case I guess I'm just stuck in a dastardly place,
A bastard embraced not,
And thanks to you look what I have to face,
A halt from a fast pace, STOP!
Coz all of a sudden anything fresh I wanted for you is now rotten,
Downtrodden by him, so now I'm ancient and he's modern,
He's caged in your pages while I'm ponderin'
How to put this poem together,
See I could keep it flowin' forever, knowin' wherever
You are, it probably won't make a difference,
Not now,
Not ever...

I only wish I could really, genuinely congratulate you,
You had me so infatuated
This is nowhere near the extent to which I could encapsulate you,
And one of the myths you made true, was I couldn't stand to hate you,
Now I'm vexed and tormented by you and your curse,
A witch - you're doin' your worst,
I got an unquenchable thirst that I'll take with me to the hearse,
And six-feet-deep in the dirt,
But believe me, for what it's worth,
I can't thank you enough for leavin' my dreams so dispersed,
But don't worry sweetie, you're not the first,
And I wouldn't put it past you to say you won't be the last to pass through
And break my heart into the next smallest fraction,
Yet what you've given me will hold on until my next newfound attraction,
Though I would love to imagine that he's the substitute for me to soon be with you,
The truth you finally made so painfully obvious is...
I was the substitute.