Non-Cliche Moment.

It's alright. The positives were it seemed really balanced betwen details and light narration. The few use of I and the shortened lines held more of an impact. And it didn't seem too sweet that I owquld have been turned off from reading.

However, it still felt like a typical love poem. These sem the hardest ones to write out of most poetry types. To stand out and be different but at he same time holding your feelings right in the words.

That is so pretty. I really need to read your work more, it always seems to be flawless. Though it's not exactly my style it inspires me to write more nonrhyming and more metaphors and such. The power of description is beautiful. 5/5

Yes, first one to comment again!

Temps, I knew you could come up with a piece, I'm so happy that you got inspired and came up with this masterpiece. You tried and did wonderful! So, congrats on that Temps.

The title: Loved it! It was well-thought and you do do a nice job with titles...

"I've always wanted to fall--"

This line brought me in, I was wondering, why are you feeling like this? It was very intriguing and had me wanting more.

"absorbing that ineffable
feeling;"

Nice word choice here, "ineffable" was a great word to use here, for sure caught my eye.

"the one you get
plummeting down a steep
hill exceeding the speed
limit on a country road."

I found this to be very descriptive and I got a clear image of what you were talking about. Well-written.

"But I want to take that plunge
with you, and escape to that
non-cliche moment;"

My favorite part! "plunge" was the perfect vocabulary to use. You always express your feelings so well, and you really got me into what you were saying.

"where
you're in the passenger seat
and I'm glancing through
the deep love unspoken
by your smiling eyes."

Wonderful emotion here, and again, you clearly get all you want to say across.

"In the end whispering as I
plant kisses upon your lips
of the sweetest scent..."

I felt like "In the end" was a bit awkward, the first line didn't make sense to me. Maybe re-word to this:

"In the end I whisper as I"

Or something like that, it reads and sounds better.

"'Thanks for watching as I fall' "

Well done Temps. You really focused on the quote and kept that interest in the reader. I did like how you end your piece with the quote. I will have to try this sometimes, it sounds fun.

Anyway, 5/5 from me, your poems never fail to amaze me and even if you say your newest one is bad, it never is, you just have the talent Temps. Keep that with you forever and never stop writing...

Have a great week.

~MaryAnne