Pain you cant understand

I look for answers
as to why I'm so messed up
as to why iv turned to drugs alcohol
and a blade that i use to cut

I'm looking for answers
that i cant seem to find
Looking for a reason to live
and im running out of time

Depression a fight im loosing
Depression something you cant understand
Depression the cause of my losses
iv lost friends family and nearly my man

I didn't ask for this
or choose to push my loved ones away
its simply something i cant control
something i continue to struggle with everyday

You want to understand me
But i don't understand myself
im trapped inside this person who claims 2be me
im screaming out for help

Depressions taken more than my happiness
Its taken a part of me
The cuts on my wrist are displaying
the pain inside you cant see

I got it in my head
that you will walk away
Cause my own family did
and there meant to be by your side till your dying day

Depression is my illness
one that cant be seen
its killed my soul
and taken away my dreams

i wish i could give you
all that you deserve
I wish i could take back the tears
all the pain and the hurt

How much i love you
is something you wont understand
How forever i want with you
Forever wanting you as my man