Our lose

by Aveena   Aug 31, 2009


The last few months have been the best
he was a true gentlemen
caused me to change
everyone was so amazed
we thought we were in love
but now we both are to depart like doves
your turn to fly down north
for me to stay here south
a few questions do arise
will i get to hold you hand again
or touch that sweet face
i really do love you
why do things have to end

CAN I HAVE SOME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.. ITS BEEN A WHILE.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    I loved it 5/5 the flow dose get a little rough near the end but I don't know much so I'd take the advice from the others :)

  • 13 years ago

    by mckenzie

    Its a nice heartfelt piece.

    think the title should have been 'our loss' rather than 'our lose'

  • 14 years ago

    by In Darkness I Dwell

    It was a really deep poem that describes a personnal experience.
    And personnally, I find it hard to stay away from the lover for a long time cos for me love needs to be fed with that direct contact, the eyes contact and the whole body language of the two lovers that distance would never replace it. I hope I helped well :)

  • 14 years ago

    by cataclysmicSoul

    A great poem, and although i can't give you constructive critism i believe that a long distance relationship is very difficult to mantain but when he comes back it only grows deeper
    JAGx

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