Apparition

This is a very good write

Floating amongst ghostly billowing smoke,
an apparition, lost to eternity.

*These two lines made me want to glue my eyes to the screen and keep reading! What a powerful opening. Loved it*

Blood, thin as water flowing through her veins,

*They way this line was wored bothered me a little. I'd change to something like "Blood, thinner than water flows through her veins" that way it flows into the next line better. But other than that I like the imagery*

No longer alive, a spirit suspended,
between heaven and hell.

*I'm not sure why but these two lines really stood out to me. I can picture someone not knowing where they should be. Plus the way you wrote them was flalwless and fits the piece so well*

of a lost soul looking for eternal peace,

*This lines made me sad :( I feel like I've spent a lot of my life looking for peace and I think others do too. But I've come to see that it's better to let things come to you.*

Until then, snows will blanket the desert,

*I loved this line! It's just a beautiful contrats between the blanket of snow and the desert. Lovely image :) *

and the planets will stand still forevermore.

*Perfect way to wrap this it. This piece wasn't too long and didn't keep me guessing. I like that you used imagery here because that made it easier to relate to. I really enjoy reading this. Very beautiful images and word choice. Such a sad story you told, but you told it well. Great job dear Nik*

I wasn't sure if i should comment this, 'cause i really don't know what to say to something so amazing lol.
this was just flawless. perfect imagery and detail.
you could feel the longing for love the "ghost" had throughout the entire poem.
brilliant.

-Liz

Sylvia, you'd such a vivid imagination. You can use simple thing and turned it into a master piece. Very well done 5/5, kel.

Sylvia
You did great on the club contest. You got all 4 elements in your piece. The emotions you have captured are awesome.
Excellent job!
Love Cindy