Angels on the Moon

Such an azmaing poem...

5/5 because...

1. the title drew me in and made me wonder what the poem was about, and i am glad i read your poem .

2. it is good to read such a powerful poem, with a good flow that does ryhme every line. you still managed to keep the rythm going from start to end.

3. you kept my attention and wanting to read on til the end, then left me wanting more. the endiong was such a powerful ending and you make the reader want to change it to a happy ending!!

4. i think the language you have used to write the poem is very strong and it helps each line stand out for example...

"Crisp white sheets wrap my body,
broken down by years of worry."

.... this is such a powerful line and its a line that sends shivers down you!.

5. I read the poem once, then read it again and would not change one thing about it. i think you got it perfect and i enjoyed the read.

thanks. xx

'shakily released by an unwilling mind.'
^This in my opinion did not flow as well as the other lines so far. 'shakily' seemed rather awkward & was a speed bump for me. Is there a better word you can think of?

'I believe in those distant angels on the moon. Do you?'
^I really liked how you proposed a question for the readers to think about & quite possibly displaying your own thoughts as well.

'A silent prayer, the cry of alarms.'
^You used silent above...how about voiceless?

Again a brilliant idea to propose questions after each stanza... it truly engages the reader more & makes them think. Awesome work (:

Aww Krista..this really hits me deep in the gut..you have this amazing ability to show vulnerability, but combine it with so much inner strength.

I am not afraid either..the hard part is leaving the others behind, heaven is exactly what the name says: paradise:)

Have a great 2010, sweet girl..I hope you get all you deserve in this life:)

* a hugeeeeeeeeee hug!*

5/5 Ingrid WV

This was one of the most brilliant poems I have read in a long time, I could feel and see all that was going on around you, and you left room for thinking in every single line. The last line struck me and had me lost in thought as I do not fear death itself.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you have my vote!

God bless you and Happy New Year!

~MaryAnne

I really enjoyed this piece hun. You've been missing from the poetic world so it's nice to see you come back with such an aamzing piece. I think the questions you asked will really get people thinking, I know I was thinking a lot when I finished this. *hugs* Great work hun. Nik